Feeling a little overwhelmed

Ok, my posts have been few and far between here recently. I have been working on my job performance and I finally (actually, since I've only worked at my place of employ now 8 months, it was very fast!) got a promotion and am working full time! 40 hours a week! Score! So, needless to say, I've been very busy. I had to get a babysitter for my daughter and I've had to buy a new car since mine died (see previous post with bird in air filter for more info!). So I'm now rocking a 2005 Mazda 6i that is burnt orange, fully loaded with black leather interior and all the trimmings. I've never had a leather-interior vehicle, so I'm excited! Plus, I've never had a loan in my name other than my student loans. This, to me, says my credit is improving! Weeee! Debt! XD I really am excited that I can be extended a line of credit, even if it is just a car loan for a used car. That makes me feel better about doing without to pay all my bills on time and getting any and all debt paid down and off.

Anyway! I've been knitting up a storm, recently! I've started on my nephew's baby blanket. He's due in December, toward the end, the exact date escapes me. But his nursery will be done in elephants and safari, so I'm making an *drumroll, please!* elephant blanket! Here it is. I had it about halfway done when the dogs ate it. And now I'm starting over again. I've also made a hat for my husband, and this headband for my daughter and also one for my friend, Stasi, while she was ill as a "get well soon" present. Not to mention some fingerless gloves for one of my friends at work who complained of cold hands while typing, and a custom designed cowl for a friend for her Halloween costume (again, eaten by the dogs, more on that later), and trying to finish my chilly podsters and the cupcake hat for my good friend, Devin. Phew! I'm tired just linking all those and thinking about it! I've went through quite a few tubes of arthritis cream for my hands in the past two months! I've also managed to teach two women at work to crochet in less than 10 minutes. Ok, well, not the WHOLE of crochet, but the basic, chaining, single stitch, turning chain, swatching, etc. When work is slow, it's nice to have something to do with your hands to keep the time passing by quickly.

So, now on to the dogs! We had a pitbull/bullmastiff mix and a lab/chow mix that were outside dogs. Then they started to disturb our neighbors' dogs and try and play frogger with trucks, so we started a "fence fund". Yes, we had dogs and no fence. No, we don't live in the city. And no, it's not a small plot of land. It's 7 acres deadsmack in the middle of nowhere. So we didn't feel a fence was necessary. The dogs had been trained to stay on the property and, up to that point, had done a very good job of it. But then they started to wander. So we started keeping them inside. Enter total destruction of home and happiness. So we got rid of the dogs. I tried desperately to give them away to a good home, but no bites. So they ended up at the shelter where I called once a week to check on them. One call told me they had been adopted out. My fears were allayed for that time. Now it's up to the new owners to see if they can "dogproof" their homes. We sure couldn't. They ate the drywall, plaster, paint, wallpaper, trim, flooring, yarn, couch, cuddler, ottoman, and diapers. So you can imagine why we couldn't afford the fence fund anymore. We needed to redo and furnish our home. But we're starting another fence fund and will take our time to build it up and make a very nice, high, safe fence for dogs that we WILL have in the future. Like over a year from now. Ok, on to a different topic, my heart is heavy with the memory of my dogs. :(

So my Christmas is filled with lots of handmade loving gifts and time with my family and I'm so happy. Well, there are ups and downs, but I prefer to look at the ups. Makes the down easier to bear, you know? I'll post more when I have more time. Work work work! :D

Dreadlocks

<p>&lt;p&gt;I hate when people say you have to be a certain race to have dreadlocks. It doesn't matter what your race or reason for dreadlocks is. The whole point is the journey. Almost every ancient people had dreadlocks. Asians, Africans, Celts, etc.</p>
<p>If I want dreads and you have a problem, keep it to yourself. Didn't your momma ever teach you that if you didn't have anything nice to say then don't say anything? Dreads are clean, natural (unless permed in), and low maintenance. Seriously, do some research and get over your preconceived notions, please.

And if you already know all this, good for you! Knowledge is power!

Work, Work, Knit, Work, Work, Knit

This past weekend has been a trial on my sanity. As a parent, as a wife, as a sister, and as a working class woman. My daughter decided to find all the food coloring and markers and draw and "paint" all my floors, my walls, and my cat. That was fun to clean up. Thank God for Clorox wipes! They get up everything! And what they can't, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers can.

Now, my husband has been working on our vehicles recently. Both have had problems with the cooling systems. It's been a real hassle. We've had to borrow one vehicle from his parents and one from mine in order to get back and forth to work on time and get our daughter hauled around. Anyway, he's been working on them almost nonstop for three days and he's been a bit... peevish since then. He hasn't been totally on board with helping me with the baby. He's got a diaper aversion, recently. Which I can't really blame him for, because they STINK! But still, it's annoying.

Then there's my siblings. My sister volunteers me to play driving Ms. Daisy for my nephew when I'm supposed to be working. And then my brother gets confused. And his wife is on bedrest with a very difficult pregnancy is asking me when I'm going to get there to get her son. It was fabulous. All for a birthday party which I didn't even get to attend. Because I was working. And they know my schedule. It never changes. *sighs*

And now, at work, every single customer I deal with has been a pain in my booty. Always yelling and complaining at me because they can't keep a legal contract agreement that they READ THROUGH AND SIGNED! Oh well, it's not my problem. But really, if someone is calling you, be kind. They are a person with a life, feelings, and a family. Unless they are rude with you, you should endeavor to be nice. It's common courtesy.

And in between all these glorious things, I've found time to knit! It's amazing! I've been working on and have just finished the left mitten of this pattern. And here's the finished picture. Of the left mitten. Hehe... -_-

Tell me what you think! And all the credit goes to the crazyknittinglady! Thanks, guys!

Better than I thought...

Ok, so remember when I said my truck was messing up? Well, turns out it wasn't as bad as we thought it was. One of the belts on it was coming loose and knocking the alternator, which was preventing my water pump from pumping fluid through my radiator to keep it cool. So my husband and father-in-law changed the belt, changed the oil, and changed the air filter. And wouldnt' you know it! I had a passenger aboard and never even knew it! Check this out... Sad, but I swear I didn't see him. I cried when my husband sent this to me...

See that white figure in the middle? That's a bird... That went through my grill and straight into my air filter. Lovely!

Anyway! I just found that rather amusing after the initial shock of finding a dead thing in my truck... Sometimes life gives you lemons. And instead of making lemonade, you find some vodka stashed in the lemon tree and make a vodka sour. Just sayin'.

Also, to add to my hand dyed yarn expedition! I am going to make a matching hat, scarf, and glove pattern for myself! I've never had a matching set and I figured, "Hey, I'm 22, why not make myself one?" So I'm going to. And I will post what I have in mind once I figure that out, myself. Right now I'm waiting on that darn yarn to dry. I've put it under a fan, blow-dryed it on a cool setting, spread it out, everything I can think of, but nothing is making it dry faster. Darn you, wool, and your water-resistance! *shakes fist angrily*

And I'm still searching for my own Halloween costume... I'm thinking something simple because this Halloween it's all about my daughter and her trick-or-treating. But I want her to be Yoda! I found the cutest Yoda costume at Walmart. It's only $16.95! Something like that online goes for almost $40! So here's to great finds in unexpected places!

Alright, dearies! I'm going to call this post quits for the moment. I'll find something exciting to post about again. Maybe...

Hand dyed yarn!

I experimented with dying yarn myself. I bought some fisherman's wool by lion brand, which is nudged 100% wool with the lanolin still in tact. Anyway! I used koolaid and food coloring, mixed it into mason jars (quart size) until I got the desired saturation. Be sure to Satan wrap your work space. I used some old, worn out cotton t-shirts to keep my mess dry and to test the color out before I put the dye in it. After that, I soaked my yarn in water (presoaking) and then dried it out as best I could. Then I put a plate into my microwave, dipped the yarn (one piece at a time) into the jars to absorb color. Put the yarn/jar mess on the plate and nuke them. How long depends on your microwave, mine was 6 minutes on high. Then, take out the yarn and rinse the dyed portion until the water is clear. Repeat with all colors and sections as desired. After all is dyed, wash the yarn with some mild soap and lukewarm water, then lay flat to dry. Ta-da!

Spina Bifida Walk N' Roll! Woo!

This is the current fruit of my labor to make posters for the annual Spina Bifida Association of Kentucky's Walk N' Roll fundraiser! It's like the relay for life or race for the cure, but only for kids born with spina bifida. I made a few rounds at work and managed to scrap together $50ish. Money was so tight, anything that I would love to donate is put into gas, posters, and time to get my baby across the state to Louisville, Kentucky and do the walk. At 9 am EST... When we live in CST... *face palm*

Anyway! I am very excited about this! I'm hoping to raise even more money next year and actually have extra funds to donate a good portion of it, myself. I have had a few friends to help me work on these, though! At this point, I'm a little disappointed in myself for not being more involved. But I have had a few volunteers from my friends at work that have helped me create these beautiful little posters! I will even post one of myself... And the poster I masterminded... Don't laugh! Hurt my little feeling... Yes, I only have one. And right now it's shame. (Just kidding!)

There will be a guest speaker at the fundraiser tomorrow. He is like Tony Hawk, only in a wheelchair! It's AMAZING what people can do when they are passionate! His name is Aaron Fotheringham. You should definitely look him up! Wish us luck tomorrow!

The poster and I.

Whitney and her work of art. Thanks, Whitney!

Bridget and her masterpiece. Thanks, Bridget!

Good thing gone wrong...

I'm feeling a bit vexed today, as my daughter and I were supposed to go to a fundraiser across the state to raise money for spina bifida research. Buuuuut, that didn't work out. 

We were about halfway there when my truck overheated and I had to pull over and sit on the side of the road for about 20 minutes. I took off again, I couldn't accelerate, and so I pulled over and turned off my truck again. Thinking it prudent to not test my truck, I turned around and headed home. I drove for about 3 minutes and had to pull over and sit on the side of the road for 20 minutes. I did this for about... Oh.... 3 hours? That was a blast with my daughter (who is two, I might add) and my mother who just got released from the nursing home after a catastrophic car accident. We had enough wheelchairs and walkers to stock a medical supply store... I digress! We were only about 70 miles from home and it took us 5 hours to get there. 

No fundraiser, no fun walk, no outing. Just a blown head gasket and some garage saling as we were pulled over and parked to let the engine cool down. But I did make a few fun finds. An antique hand mirror, comb, and hair brush for my vanity. Also a handmade wooden moon for my porch. We made the most of our situation, but I do believe today was a bust. 

My truck is just about shot. And now I have to look for a new one. I'm a bit bummed, but I'm thinking about a Mazda RX-8... Enough room for a car seat thanks to the third door and sporty enough to be fun to drive. But I love my truck. *sigh* This is rather distressing. Especially since we're trying to get our bills caught up and Christmas is coming up quickly! 

So much for trying to get bills paid off and getting some money squirreled away. Murphy's Law. 

Working, Knitting, Thinking

So, my place of employ has recently implemented a policy that we are no longer allowed to use streaming of music of video websites. Fair enough. Up with productivity!

So, from hence forth I shall be knitting my little fingers off! I am currently working on these adorable mittlets that I found on here. So far, the instructions are plainly written out and easy to follow, except I can get a bit lost in the text and my eyes wander and I end up combining the next four lines into one thing... So! I'm having a tough time. Once I get them complete, I will post a picture and another link to the lovely Miss Shantha Rose and her pattern.

I was, before that, working on a market tote. I got a little frustrated with the repetition of it and put it away for the moment. But, I will finish it. Eventually...

As a clarification of my last, angsty post I will post a picture of my little girl. This picture is relatively new. On her second birthday, to be exact. Anyway, here it is!

This is my precious baby, Keelia!

Incensed at the machinations of this stupid system!

OK, as my first blog, I have to say that this will be one of those ranting and raving posts that everyone loves to read and agree with or flame and hate on. Normally, I try to be optimistic and thread humour through my issues to make them easier to deal with. But this is one thing that I cannot abide by, and that is injustice and discrimination against children. My child, in particular, has suffered since birth with a disability of the body, not the mind and has been treated like garbage because she has her wits about her.

She was born with myelomenigeocele spina bifida. In short, her spinal column didn't finish forming and her spinal cord isn't a cord, but rather like a pancake. In addition to this delicious picture, the spinal "pancake" was protruding from her back, all wrapped up in a meningeal sac and fluid. She had to be delivered via C-section at a large hospital and immediately moved to the NICU. She had to be laid on her stomach and monitored constantly due to newborns having a knack for apnea on their stomachs. She had surgery at 36 hours old to make her spinal "pancake" into a spinal cord and line it up in her back like it should be. The surgery went very well and her recovery was speedy and miraculous. Normally, recovery from a major surgery like that takes several weeks and lots of pain medicine, but we were released after day 9 and she didn't even need Tylenol for pain. Needless to say, my daughter is a trooper.

During our hospital stay, we were contacted by a social worker who asked us if we intended on applying for Social Security Disability. We said we were, as we were a young couple with a tiny income and less means. We applied with the understanding that we would not be denied since she was diagnosed and treated for her condition since birth and it will cause permanent nerve damage that will affect her mobility in the future and possible mental side effects.We applied and didn't receive word for over six months. When we did receive word, they asked us a few questions about how she has recovered ad what we thought and we answered favorably because everything we'd been through had been fairly well, thus far. The person making the call said he would be in touch and we never heard from him again. Two months after that phone call, we got a letter from the Social Security Administration saying that there was nothing medically wrong with our daughter and she was denied. We hired a lawyer to fight this and he told us it was pointless and not to bother trying again.

Needless to say, I was pissed off. My daughter, who has now been diagnosed with GERD and tibular torsion (twisting of the shins and tibia bones), was perfectly healthy and uneligible for help. Right. And I'm 5'9" and am hotter than Giselle. *Insert eyerolling here* Well, I kept applying (by myself) until they accepted my daughter. At that point, we were receiving maximum benefits because I was out of work and my husband hadn't received his promotion (which I'm very proud of him!) and were renting the upper portion of my mother's house. Yes, we were very broke and very much in need of help. And we received it, for a time, thankfully.

Then I started working again. I found a very good job which I love and I make better than minimum wage without a college degree. I was thrilled. And then the payments got cut in half. OK, we can handle that. Since I'm working and bringing in an income, that's fine. Our expenses are no longer higher than our income. We're making progress! Yes!

And then we used the extra money to save up for a house down payment. And then we found a house. And then we bought it. And then they discontinued her disability entirely. And then we had to start going to specialists 3 hours away on a regular basis. And then we got told that because we make too much money for her to be disabled, she doesn't get Medicaid anymore. You see where this is going, right? Do I need to go on?

Anyway, at this point, my daughter is now 2 years old, she has to have special braces to keep her feet straight, we're having some difficulty potty training her, she goes to physical therapy every Friday, and she sees a specialist 3 hours away at least once a month. Not to mention the diapers we go through because of her bowel/bladder problems. And gas. Oh, and did I mention we have to have a walker for her to use to walk with? What about a stander so she can bear weight on her feet properly? And specially made outdoor toys so she can be outside and enjoy the sunshine. It adds up, people. Quickly.

Now you can see why we're a bit peeved about them cutting the disability checks. And now I'll tell you something else. Did you know that they only consider income and assets, not expenses, when deciding whether or not you're disabled? It doesn't matter what the doctors think or if you are in dire straits. If you make enough money that you're at or above the poverty line ($20000ish a year, I think) then you don't get what you need to help you survive.

Now here's my rant and rave. It's been a long time coming and now it's arrived! I am of the opinion that if you live in America and have to have a urine test to get a job, you should have to have the same urine test to get assistance. I work and pay the taxes that help disabled and underprivileged Americans get through their lives. I think that since I have to work and pay those taxes and have to have urine tests to make sure I'm an upstanding member of society that everyone who takes my tax dollars needs to be tested for drugs as well. If everyone who received benefits was tested, there would be less abuse of those funds and more funds to go around. People who are using them for their own personal "get high" cash can get lost and let the people, like me, who are actually working and TRYING to get ahead and make sure my daughter has a good life can get the assistance we need.

And also! They need to take into account expenses of the necessary variety. Grocery bills, doctor bills, medicine, housing, utilities, and possibly transportation. Maybe they would get the picture. Even those of us that are working still need to live. I work to live, I don't live to work. So I'm sorry I don't earn lots of money. I'm doing my best, and progressing. But I've made mistakes and have taken setbacks and I've also been proverbially knocked down a few times. I'm working on it. But don't you DARE take it out on my child. She is an innocent little girl that needs help. So get your head out of your ass and frigging help her, you jerks!

Rant over. Thanks for reading! :o)